Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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