Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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