Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
