my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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