He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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