hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize