is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
