At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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