This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
