And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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