my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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