So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
