Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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