At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
