They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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