Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
try to milk me bitch
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