Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
