she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
