just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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