belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
