They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
