You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
