she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
