it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
