I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
