I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
