take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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