Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
