It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
