when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
