i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's like God shit irony all over that family
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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