I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
