we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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