its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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