Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im holly from the hills drunk
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
