What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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