is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
