Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
