Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
4 words: hood of his car
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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