I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
