So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize