I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize