# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it penis luge time yet?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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