My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
