benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
