She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
