hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There are leaves in my underwear?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
