How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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