even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
