what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
