two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
