i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
