your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
