Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize