Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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