thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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