the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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