So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize