I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
