Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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