D3 body, D1 cock
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
